The gap that has widen far too much,
I can't see the starting and there doesnt seem to be an end.

The pain and hurt I carry inside,
with tears and fear,
I run.

I chase those images,
the memories that still remain.

Each day, the fear doubles.
The images get blurry,
the things I can remember reduce day after day.

Helplessness takes over,
no matter how much I try,
those images wont return.

I struggle,
I fall,
I force myself to get up and stay strong.

With the bruises I hide inside,
the undeniable hole that I can't repair.
I toss and turn in bed, clutching the blanket so tight.
No warmth seems available,
just cold wrapping around me.

Just like how she endangers her life to get back those voices in her head and to see those images flash by,
I think excessively in the day, hoping those pictures come back to me in my dreams.

But now, even dreams scare me.
I thought I saw,
and went to search frantically in the crowd,
but, it probably was an illusion.

I don't know why in the world I started this nightmare,
causing myself to suffer in this state.
It fears me to see my phone go quiet just after 2 replies,
it fears me to not know whats in that head anymore,
it fears me cause it seems that only I care,
it fears me,
it kills me.

Sometimes I wish something really bad would happen,
then I'll feel so much care from people.
If I really somehow need to get admitted to hospital,
take my phone and call the 7 speed dial numbers.
I ranked them, it shows how important those people are to me.